why

some people will go to any lengths. i speak of what i have seen. all the people of the world are mad if you would go by its official definition. they all have deep hidden obesessions, unventured dark woods of desire, the mysterious clouds of fear, an in your face megalomania. there is a need to let it out. they have to. i dont know if it was always like that but thinking about it strangely always brings me back to the darkness of solitude. yes i know we are supposed to devour this darkness, close our eyes to its comforting breezes and doze off in blissful slumber. it is supposed to be the time to sleep. but isnt this the time of the night riders, who will refuse to sleep at night, because who said so?? but the darkness is too dark. they cant fight it. the only thing they end up doing is not a dance of victory over the ashes of the darkness. it is a surrender. a willing or otherwise defection to the other side, the one that was proclaimed the enemy, the one they were supposed to fight.

what are we if not our past? there is none of the present. it is all a hypothetical state of being, simply because you cannot be in it. its a myth, a ghost, that runs at the same speed as all do, as their mind. they are not inside the myth, too big for it. they hold on to it, and try to keep pace, running behind it as they do, always a step behind. you lose it, you lose the present. there is no getting it back. everyone loses it at some point.
all we can do is exist in the past and look to the future. nothing wrong, nothing, but man is man...

it is a saga of people's pasts. suddenly all they can think of is the past, compare them. my past is better than yours!! and although it is not based on any logical reasons but it somehow means my future holds more promise than yours. my past is funny. my past is smart. my past is profound. i am my past.
a movie, a book, a life. and you will see how they will one day make a movie on my past. i will write a book and it will be read. because what use is the past if you dont leave it behind as hard copy. you are not a man enough. i want everyone to know what i did. so they can envy me. so they would want to be in my place. and that will be a proof of how successful it has been, my past, my life.
but wait, a movie isnt made in a day. he will have to remember the past. all of it. because no nothing of it is worth not telling. wait he will tell everyone. yes they will be impressed and yes they will remember.
hey you!!! yes you!!! what??? cant hear you..oh ok!! you busy right now?? its ok. what??? you dont give a fuck about my life?? what do you mean?? oh you must be one of those foolish ones. who dont know what they say... but wait no, i know you. you are the one that i always wanted to be like.. i mean..i mean...i don mean that!!! how can you say something like that... and if everyone comes to know what you said. noone will want to hear about my past, about me..
oh what??? they never did want to hear?? it is not like that...noooo.

RELAX!!!!!!!!! he knows what to do. well he maybe unable to talk of his life to people, but there are people who want to talk about theirs. they will all have to come together, because "i feel so claustrophobic all trapped inside me". he wants to come out. and so do they. but he cant talk to them. they make stupid faces when he starts off..dont concentrate. but hes smart enough , he will think of something. he is having second thoughts. he is beginning to hate his life. it is getting confusing. he is ill on communicating with people now...what is it that will save him the trouble of going to everyone and rather bring everyone to him. and he will still be with it so that what ever he comes up with, others will follow suit, again a mark of success, because yes that will be the thing to do. the outsiders will be the losers. yippee!!! and it will have to be double faced so that when the bubble bursts, he shall not face the mucus, but those who chose to be him, who could not think of their own head...
all this and...
how the hell does he tell people how many times he sat in the pot the last day???
stroke of genius..oh he has always been a master of ingenuity.. this is another eureka..
nothing like it has ever been thought of.. this has all the faces he wants.. he his happy.. he his staring into millions of electrons beacuse he just wants to say it, he dont care .....yes.......he will write a blog...