Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Milestones and Memory

समय भी कैसी अजब सी चीज़ है।
साल दर साल बीतते जा रहे हैं।
एक एक दिन साला हरामी नहीं बीतता।

दिन बीत भी जाए ठीक ठाक
तो शाम में आकर अटक जाता है।
जैसे उसकी सांस सी रुक गयी हो।
रात सारी रात फङफङाती है।
सुबह तक बिस्तर की चादर पूरी तरह बिखर जाती है।

नए दिन से पूछो कि नया क्या है
तो कहता है तूने ऐसा नया किया क्या है।
सालों साल बीत गए।
बरसों पुराने किस्से याद आते हैं।
पर परसों क्या किया याद नहीं आता।
समय भी कैसी अजीब सी चीज़ है।

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

night in rainbow amor

the sky is as yellow, lover
as it was the evening before that night
when our limbs around each other
above the silver stars we went for a flight

as we danced forever in embrace
unaware of the world, its blues
the yellows turned to greys
we didn't notice the change in hues

the night was dark but in your eyes,
(which, by the way, were locked in my sight)
i was lost (which is no surprise)
'coz they were darker and deeper than the night

your pink fingers danced on my bare chest
wreaking havoc in my green heart
while u slept, i lay with unrest
fearing the morning when we shall part

then in our dream, we went to a lake
and in it we threw the black stones of the past
the moon was singing for our sake
and we wished the red dream would last

i announced the orange daybreak, kiss
and across your face in the twilight
i watched the faint smile crawl, bliss
then the day came, all was white

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Not my kind of world

If only I could smile when I didnt want to and laugh at jokes I didnt find funny. If only I could ask questions, the answers to which I didnt really care about. If only I could crib and not do anything about the thing I cribbed about. If only I could bend over and let someone shove me, under the guise of patting my back. If only I could lose sleep over and make people lose sleep over, things that did not make an iota of a difference to the world or me. If only I could do something without trying to do it in a different way than it was already being done. If only I could take 8 hours for doing something worth 2. If only I could make useless sounds in forced gatherings. If only I could be stupid enough to not see that people could figure out if my intentions betrayed my actions. If only I could revel in this collective stupidity.

If only I could, I would have been a star in the corporate, because like they say (to everyone), I am one of the smartest they have.

Unfortunately, I am real.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Me, Myself and the Idiot

“That’s the sort of beauty you appreciate, then?”

“Yes, it is…”

“You mean, just that sort of beauty?”

“Just that sort”


“In that face…there is so much suffering”


“But perhaps you are talking nonsense.”

“And what would make you think so?”

“It is only a witty word to use, suffering. Who appreciates it?...and more importantly, who wants it?”

“I do”

“Then I must say that you are only but an idiot”

“If embracing the noblest of all truths is idiocy, then for sure I am nothing but what you call me, and trust me, I would not like it if you call me by any other name.”

“You only use fancy words, but I don’t fancy them.”

“I never did make up any words about this thing, to mislead you. I only quote the words of Buddha when I say that suffering is nothing but the noblest of all truths. When I say that those who deny this truth are only but insolent fools, I must admit, I do use some of my own words.”

“Hmm..But I am sure Buddha never believed we must dwell in this suffering. Buddha has only always shown the way beyond suffering, towards peace and contentment and moral transience of the soul.”

“True. But before you tread the path that leads beyond suffering, you must accept the suffering, you must embrace it and you must learn to be at peace with it. Before you kill a beast, or tame it, you have to be at peace with the fact that there stands in front of you, a dangerous creature, which can rip you apart, the very moment you let it get a whiff that it can; closing your eyes to the beast, and pretending that it is not there, that it only exists in an imagined figment of your consciousness, is not only cowardice, but the most foolish of all actions a being can perform in his/her lifetime.”

“I understand and I fully agree. So in this case, I see that you do accept and appreciate the suffering that every person has to go through, and live with. But you also do accept that it is not the end all of our existence, it is only a step that leads to a broader and more significant path towards happiness and contentment, which is where to, the enlightened one (Buddha) also leads us..for you will have suffering, it is unavoidable, but it will be absurd to seek it, and that is what you seem to be doing by confessing your love for her; if it is the suffering in her that intrigues you, then you cannot possibly make it your purpose, because the purpose of all our lives is happiness..”

“I don’t even believe that our lives have a purpose, leave alone agreeing to it that the purpose is happiness. There is no reason to believe that we all are born for a reason.”

“Buddha shows us the middle path, and he will have us convinced that at the end of this path is the pot of gold we have all been born for, the answer to all questions, the blissful state of being. For that is what he would have us believe is the purpose of our existence”

“I do not agree with what he says, and I will need…”

“Ha! There you go, you wicked soul, churning yourself in your own contradictions, I know the likes of you”

“No, you don’t. Because the kind of people you know read their books and listen to their sermons and make it their ‘laws of the land’. I, for your kind information, am a free soul. Buddha is not my god. He was one amongst us tragically ignorant humans, the only difference being he was a free soul. And he had no gods. He learnt a lot in his life, more than most of us can even imagine thinking about. And I have all the respect in the world for him. And I believe his soul will rest in peace if we more than mincing his words, choose to be our own light, and follow it.”

“But aren’t you, my friend, the same free soul who was ‘mincing’ words in front of me, a moment ago? You belong to the kind who are always looking for a smart thing to say in every situation, whether or not they even know at all what they are saying or what it means. You are the one who reads the ‘quote of the day’ in the morning newspaper and then spends his day looking for the right moment to use it. I am pretty sure, there is nothing but the basest of motives in your ‘affection’ for her, and I don’t care what fancy words you use to adorn and hide it, as long as you do not blasphemise the likes of Buddha.”

“You misunderstand me.. when..”

“Like always? You just think everyone misunderstands you, don’t you? You think I am foolish because I don’t “understand” what you are “trying” to say, and so is everyone else and most people in the world because they fail to see the genius that you are. You are one of the greatest philosophers my friend and I don’t mean it at all. And you have got me thinking here, about your thoughts you have just blessed me with. And I need to ponder upon it with a snigger. Will you be gracious enough to allow me to be alone and to do the same?”

“And will you be gracious enough to give me a moment and a breath and allow me to wrest my answers to the questions you pose. I agree with most of what you have just said, but I don’t find your way of going about your arguments agreeable. An argument is supposed to have two people arguing, sometimes even more, although two is the most fruitful. But all you want to do in all arguments is say what you wish to say and end it all…”

“Oh..come cant..”

“Will you please let me say all now that I wish to? I, unlike you, have smooth edges around my head. I, unlike you, have ears and eyes that want to hear and see new things. I, unlike you, have a fetish for suffering. And I, unlike you, have respect for opinions and thoughts that do not necessarily walk hand in hand with mine. Let me clarify my stance by saying that I revere Buddha, and do not follow him. Let me make myself clear when I say that I won’t let you judge my affection for her. And let me leave you alone here now, for I have things to figure out. Will you please pass the photograph?”

“You are being an ass..”

“I don’t mind being that, and let it be for some other time for me to tell you why. Good night.”

“And at that some other time, I will let you know what really makes you a pain to live with. Let the J move around before you go.”

“Let me drag a few more breaths”



“Good night, sleep tight and do not let the bugs bite”


Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Angriest Dog in the World

"The dog who is so angry he cannot move. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He can just barely growl. Bound so tightly with tension and anger, he approaches the state of rigor martis"

David Lynch

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy"


"There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot. "


"If it is something so complicated and convoluted that you do not even know if you can help it or not, and there is no way of knowing, you are allowed to be angry."

Amol Parashar

The Angriest dog in the world. The Angriest dog in the world is tied to a leash. The Angriest dog in the world is tied to a leash he can not possibly break with all the physical strength he can gather. The weak Angriest dog in the world.

People behave stupidly on the roads and people say stupid things from inside the house. It makes the dog angry. It makes him sad and incensed to see all the stupidity in the world and the ignorance and it makes him angry that he can only be a mute spectator to this sophomoric circus. I mean, what is it that he can possibly do? He can bark. But if he barks, will they understand? No. He barks at all the stupid little children who throw stones at him. They don't understand. They think throwing stones at an angry but tied dog is fun. And nobody can make them think otherwise. Certainly, not the dog. Is that the only meaningful purpose they can find of their summer evenings? I would have told them to go roam the unknown neighbourhoods instead.

These creatures are lucky to have got their lives as human beings. The angry dog would have liked to be human too (or maybe not, how the fuck do I know, I am a human, supposedly). Atleast he would have had the privilege to use words when he wanted to say something. Or acted upon it if he wished to do something. And what are they doing with their lives as humans? throwing stones and jibes at a hapless dog? Ha.

He would bite if he could break the leash. But he will only be labelled a mad dog at the most, and taken to the grisly dog house at the end of the block and they will put him to death. The children will still be children and the stupid people inside the house will continue to be stupid people inside the house. Will the elementary suicide be of any help? There is only a very mild possibility of that. Will his death make the other angry dogs break their leashes and bite the world? I suppose not, because dogs are known to be the selfish and unemotional kind when it comes to other dogs. And angry dogs can rarely stand each other.

The anger gets inflated with every useless breath that leaves his lungs. The dog is angry because whatever he might choose to do, he will not be able to make the difference he wants to see in the world. He is angry at god, if there is one. He is angry at the world. It looks like some one is gonna get a hurt real bad. I am not going anywhere near this dog!

Dated : 09-Jan-2008

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

the reprise

the tides of time that glide
over the sea of love
leave no trace in history
just a scent of sorry death
in the air of life

we dont pray for the rain again
high tides of pain drown yesterday
only a summer
of warm winds and orchids
will let us breath.

and we will stand
against the wind
and kill each other with spears of words
till what remains on the sorry earth
is only the scent of death

and the gods above
will cry for us
and for the lives that could have been
and lonely children will be born again
in the warm winds of summer.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

About Turn

tere aane ka intezaar main har shaam karta hu
tujhe paane ki chaahat mein kuch aise kaam karta hu
tari aankhon ki chandni khareedne ke liye
main har dard ko baazaar mein neelaam karta hu

hamaare aaj ka naa tujh pe koi ilzaam karta hu
kal ko bhoolne ki koshishein naakaam karta hu
tujhpe koi ungli bhi naa uthaaye taaki
main apne aap ko har bheed mein badnaam karta hu

naa main rosh karta hu naa main aaraam karta hu
apni maut se har roz yeh sangraam karta hu
teri yaadon ke aks ko batorne ke liye
har raat ko botal mein hi anjaam karta hu

tere kadmon mein pesh aaj yeh kalaam karta hu
aur khoon ki har boond tere naam karta hu
tere aane ka intezaar main har shaam karta hu
tere aane ke intezaar mein har shaam marta hu